Letter to a friend < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 14:04 Mi 16.04.2008 | | Autor: | itse |
| Aufgabe | | A friend of yours has invited you to travel around the USA for some time. Provided that you have got enough money, tell him/her what you think about it. |
Hallo Zusammen,
das wäre meine Antwort:
Dear Jim,
I'm sorry it has taken so long to reply but I've been so busy during the last few days. It's a beautiful idea to travel to you and tour across the United States. First of all I thank you a lot, that you have invited me.
I'm would be very pleased when I could come to you. We travel along the east coast and visit some towns like New York, Washington D.C. and Philadelphia. There we visiting sightseeings, I think on the Statue of Liberty, the Broadway, the White House and other special places. Furthermore I can improve my English und we will meet some interesting people.
Nevertheless the money could be a problem but I'm going to ask my parents, whether they can lend me some money for the journey. As soons as I've the answer from my parents, I'll write to you again. Except from the reaction of my parents I'm very happy about it meeting you.
Best wishes to you and your family.
With kind regards,
Michael
Wie ist der Stil, die Sprache und die Grammatik. Wo habe ich Fehler gemacht oder was könnte man bessser/treffender ausdrücken?
Gruß
itse
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 15:36 Mi 16.04.2008 | | Autor: | hAzEL. |
Dear Jim,
I'm sorry it has taken so long to reply but I've been so busy during the last few days.
>Grundsätzlich würde ich mich erstmal für den Brief bedanken.
>'I'm sorry that it has taken so long...'
>'I've been very busy...'
It's a beautiful idea to travel to you and tour across the United States. First of all I thank you a lot, that you have invited me.
>'It's a good idea' o.ä. 'Beautiful' klingt nicht so gut.
>'To visit you' statt 'to travel to you'
>'to travel around in the USA
I'm would be very pleased when I could come to you.
>Komplett unverständlich.
>'I would be very pleased to meet you.'
We travel along the east coast and visit some towns like New York, Washington D.C. and Philadelphia. There we visiting sightseeings, I think on the Statue of Liberty, the Broadway, the White House and other special places. Furthermore I can improve my English und we will meet some interesting people.
> Befehlston. Ich nehme an, du möchtest deinem Brieffreund vorschlagen die genannten Orte zu besuchen. Also:
> ' We could travel along the east coast... The we could visit... Furthermore I could and I'm sure we would meet...'
Nevertheless the money could be a problem but I'm going to ask my parents, whether they can lend me some money for the journey.
> Zweimal 'money' in einem Satz.
As soons as I've the answer from my parents, I'll write to you again.
>'As soon as I have... I'll tell you.'
> Vielleicht 'permission' statt 'answer'?
Except from the reaction of my parents I'm very happy about it meeting you.
>Was möchtest du sagen?
>Grammatikalisch richtig müsste der Satz heißen: 'Except of the reaction of my parents I would be very happy to meet you.'
>Was du damit ausdrücken möchtest ist mir allerdings ein Rätsel.
Best wishes to you and your family.
With kind regards,
Michael
Stilistisch eher schwach, sorry. Und ich würde dir dringend raten, Grammatik zu pauken und beim Texte schreiben auf Flüchtigkeitsfehler zu achten.
Bin mir nicht ganz sicher, alles gefunden zu haben.
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