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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Korrektur gesucht..!
Korrektur gesucht..! < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Korrektur gesucht..!: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 20:18 Di 20.11.2007
Autor: LaBella

Es wäre total lieb wenn mir jemand folgenden Text korrigieren könnte ....muss den morgen abgeben und bin mir bei der direkten Rede total unsicher...!

ganz liebe grüße isabella

When M. was asked if she can remember her first kiss we get to know that she even remember the person who gave her the kiss. It was when she was seven years old and her neighbour kissed her.
At the moment she´s singel and she loves her life without a  boyfriend.
She also mentioned that she likes beeing a celebritie even if it is sometimes a little annoying that everybody knows you.
Item we get to know that she dreamd of beeing an actress since she was a little girl and that acting was her way of dealing with all her insecurities and problems.
As her role-model she mentioned Madonna who she admired because of her strong voice and her charisma.
When she was demanded what she would to if she would be suddelny pregnant she answerd that she don´t worry about that because she has no boyfriend. Furthermore she trust in birth-control.
We find out that M. wasn´t a very good pupil and she often bunk off school.
By the way her favourite food is chinese food and her favourite colour is blue.
She also likes clothes in this colour because it gos with her eyes.  

M. informed us too that she don´t worry about loosing her privacy even if she´s very popular at the moment.
When she was asked about her hobbies she explained that she really likes going out, dancing, shopping and playing tennis.
She told us that she often plays tennis with her parents because she has a very good relationship with them.
What she expect from the future is beeing lucky and successful.
When the question with the eating disorder was posed she suggested that that’s only a rumour.
She´s inherently a very skinny person just as well as she´s a very romantic person.




        
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Korrektur gesucht..!: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 21:15 Di 20.11.2007
Autor: rainerS

Hallo Isabella!

> Es wäre total lieb wenn mir jemand folgenden Text
> korrigieren könnte ....muss den morgen abgeben und bin mir
> bei der direkten Rede total unsicher...!
>
> ganz liebe grüße isabella

Du musst bei den Verbformen besser aufpassen; bei der 3. Person Sing. lässt du öfter mal das "s" weg (do statt does).  "being" schreibt sich nur mit einem e.

>
> When M. was asked if she can remember her first kiss we get
> to know that she even remember the person who gave her the
> kiss.

Da stimmt die Zeitenfolge nicht. Entweder "When M. is asked", oder "we got to know".

Und dann: "to know that she doesn't even remember the person who gave her the kiss.

> It was when she was seven years old and her neighbour
> kissed her.
> At the moment she´s singlel and she loves her life without a
>  boyfriend.
>  She also mentioned that she likes beeing a celebrityie even
> if it is sometimes a little annoying that everybody knows
> youher.

> ItemIn addition, we get to know that she dreamed(oder: dreamt) of beeing an actress
> since she was a little girl and that acting was her way of
> dealing with all her insecurities and problems.
> As her role-model she mentioned Madonna whom (Objekt!) she admired
> because of her strong voice and her charisma.
> When she was demandedasked what she would doto if she would be
> suddelnly became pregnant she answerd that she doesn´t worry about
> that because she has no boyfriend. Furthermore she trusts in
> birth-control.
> We find out that M. wasn´t a very good pupil and she often
> bunked off school.
> By the way her favourite food is chinese food and her
> favourite colour is blue.
> She also likes clothes in this colour because it goes with
> her eyes.  
>
> M. informed us too that she doesn´t worry about loosing her
> privacy even if she´s very popular at the moment.
> When she was asked about her hobbies she explained that she
> really likes going out, dancing, shopping and playing
> tennis.
> She told us that she often plays tennis with her parents
> because she has a very good relationship with them.
> What she expects from the future is beeingto be lucky and
> successful.
> When the question withabout the eating disorder was posed she
> suggested that that’s only a rumour.
> She´s inherently a very skinny person

Du meinst "von Natur aus", nehme ich an. Da würde ich "naturally" statt "inherently" nehmen.

> just as well as she´s
> a very romantic person.

Viele Grüße
   Rainer

Bezug
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