Englischkorrektur < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 19:21 Di 19.01.2010 | | Autor: | MonaMoe |
| Aufgabe | Particularly significant is electronic Commerce for the marketing, as the company through him have new possibilities of contact, exchange information, or to present themselves with their products.
These possibilities of electronic Commerce at the same time provide a challenge for companies is to accept it. The companies may not see the trade on the online marketplace (commerce) as an isolated activity, but must integrate all business functions / processes --- (marketing, sales, logistics, service) in the design of their online activities. Business strategies must be adapted to the performance and trading on the Internet for today and in the future continue to be successful. |
Ich bitte um Korrekturlesen.
Vielen Dank im Vorraus
Simona Leat
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 20:11 Di 19.01.2010 | | Autor: | rainerS |
Hallo!
> Particularly significant is electronic Commerce for the
> marketing, as the company through him have new
"through" ist falsch, wenn überhaupt, dann "by". Aber das ist sehr holpriges Englisch.
Besser
Particularly significant is electronic Commerce for
marketing, as the company can employ it to acquire
> possibilities of contact, exchange information, or to
new contacts, exchange information, or to
> present themselves with their products.
"themselves" und "their" ist falsch, weil das Subjekt des Satzes (company) Sinular ist, also
present itself together with its products.
> These possibilities of electronic Commerce at the same time
> provide a challenge for companies is to accept it.
Zwei Fehler: "At the same time" steht nicht vor dem Verb, und der Satz hat zwei Verben: "provide" und "is". Du kannst die Zeitangabe entweder ganz an den Anfang des Satzes stellen, oder unmittelbar hinter "provide".
"Provide" ist keine so gute Wahl, besser ist "present":
At the same time, these possibilities of electronic Commerce present a challenge for companies to accept it.
> The
> companies may not see the trade on the online marketplace
Ich bin mir nicht ganz sicher, aber ich würde "in" statt "on" verwenden".
Meinst du wirklich "may not" = "mögen nicht", oder lieber "must not" = "dürfen nicht"?
> (commerce) as an isolated activity, but must integrate all
> business functions / processes --- (marketing, sales,
> logistics, service) into the design of their online
> activities. Business strategies must be adapted to the
> performance and trading on the Internet for today and in
> the future continue to be successful.
Der Nebensatz am Ende ist unvollständig. Ich glaube, was du meinst ist dies:
performance and trading on the Internet for today
so that they continue to be successful in the future
Alternative zur letzten Zeile: ein AcI
for them to continue to be successful in the future
Viele Grüße
Rainer
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